Breaking Point

I'm pretty sure I've hit it.

Maybe I've been here a while.

It's hard to tell in a lot of respects where this simmering feeling of discontent comes from. There's a good chance it's been here for months, many many months. I just know things are going to have to change and I'm going to have to make them change. Daylight hours are too precious to spend wishing they were over.

Everything else is amazing btw, if this title sounds a touch melodramatic. We'll speak again soon on better circumstances I'm sure.

Speak soon
Take care
Ben

These last few days

I've realised that the things that matter are the people that matter.

I'm pretty sure I knew that anyway, but my worldly view has been reinforced tenfold by realising a few things recently. I'll never care about so many different things, despite how many times you tell me I should do.

The greatest gift we have is the chance to do what makes us truly happy. We're not here long enough to spend our time make plans; plans for the sneering eyes of people we'll never meet.

That's the beauty of all of this though.

When we truly realise that we have the power to what we want, everything becomes of slightly less consequence somehow.

The shackles of this corporate visage loosen enough to escape for the night at quarter to five; when the people we really are be meet up with the people we really love.

In short, wasting time is only wasting time if you don't look back it what you've done and smile.

Take care
Speak soon
Ben

Blankets

This five day week thing has hit me pretty hard.

Every day has felt like Monday so far but maybe that's just because of the weather. I had quite a few odd days off in December, a weekend trip to Munich to take in the Christmas markets and a big break over Christmas, so this week has felt as tiresome as walking uphill in the rain.

Ironically, I've done that quite a few times these last few days also.

I guess I just really miss the days where all I had to worry about was could I eat a Pretzel this big without falling asleep afterwards.

I didn't as it happens but it was quite a struggle; the tea that I had with it really helped.

The Christmas markets in Munich were so pretty though. I'd planned them as a surprise for my lovely wife.

I booked all the parts of the holiday separately in the summer over a couple of months.

She didn't know where we were going right until the last minute when I gave her the flight number to enter into the ticket machine.

It had taken weeks of preparation, of dodging questions, of working out hotel rates, of converting currencies but for that split second when she saw Munich flash up on that screen, it was all worth it.

It was worth it a million times over.

The back and forth craziness of work/judging will pick up speed in a few weeks but for the time being, I'm just happy that you're happy sweetpea.

I'm happy in the knowledge that we'll always have these adventures with each other to drift away into.

Until next time
Speak soon
Take care
Ben