I signed up for this stop/start, on/off, stuck at the lights/flying down the motorway craziness.
That said, it doesn't get any easier though, some things never do. It's all first world problems if we're being honest though. Woe is me, my unbelievable second life is frighteningly addictive. When you weigh up that my first which mainly involves tea, toast, videogames, watching fights and hanging out with Vanille, you think I'd learn just to fucking shut up.
When did this become a thing is the question I asked myself when I woke up this morning. At what point did this adventure become something I stopped watching with the originals on a Sunday and transform into something that causes me to tick days off a calender like a petty offender?
I wish I had answers, but then I think we all wished we had answers. I guess we never truly know, and that's somehow equal parts frightening and empowering.
Imagine diving headfirst into a fast flowing river.
You'd have two choices.
You could claw with every fibre to pull back against that which was dragging you away from where you started. You may never know where you could have ended up but you'll always have the comfort of what you know and the shapes that remain the same.
If you throw yourself headfirst into the whirling uncertainty then the possibilities become endless. It's rolling a dice or spinning a wheel. The act of accepting the unknown that most of us really struggle with. It's that feeling in the pit of your stomach when it looks like all bets are off as your sure fire winner crumbles in the face of adversity.
When it works though, there's arguably no better feeling in the world; the juice is nearly always worth the squeeze.
I'm scared, but then we're all scared of something.
You may as well be scared of something that you know you've engineered yourself.
It's all going to get really busy in the next few weeks.
Come say hello won't you?