Monday, 27 July 2015

Over the Top


We're all set to become the people we never thought we would be, but it's seldom through our own drive. It's through the wishes and wants for those who we will never see, sitting atop in their air conditioned offices, looking out on all that they've changed to move the line.

Teaching represents a lot of different things to a lot of different people but, for me, it's the chance to help people out with whatever skills I've picked up along the way. It can be anything from using a computer, to spelling a word, to doing some multiplication or solving one of the many problems that life in the modern era seems to throw at people. 

That photo above sums up everything I love about the internet.

The availablity of moments so cataclysmic in their nature makes me constantly realise the scale of everything. I'll spend days looking at pictures of abandoned cities, of derelict theme parks, of people who lived in times gone by and buildings of varying significance. 

That photo also sums up everything I've come to dislike about my industry of choice. It sums up the theory of acceptable losses against collateral gains. Every single person in that photograph has a family, a story, a brain, some feelings, some emotions and a whole load of questions but right there in that moment they're simply a statistic. They represent the roll of a dice, taken by someone miles away from the retribution of those decisions.

I'm struggling with the concept of people not having a chance, not having any chance but still being required to plod on regardless. I can't get my head round sending people to do things that they won't be able to do for a meagre gain. The worst part is looking at myself afterwards as I smile and try and convince both them and me, that all of this will make sense at some point. 

It'll make sense for those on the top floor, just not for anyone else. 



Tuesday, 30 June 2015

Impasse


The real question isn't how to we get past this anymore, it's what's on the other side?

At this point there's no way of telling, but maybe that's what makes this an adventure rather than an arbitrary set of decisions. Our view has been tilted to the right by 10 degrees and now all we can see are opportunities, not blistered wood and reflections. 

Who knows where this all finishes and where we all find ourselves, but as of right now, this second; I'm simply glad it doesn't have to end just yet. 



Monday, 15 June 2015

Sunbeams

It's hard not to be happy in these kind of circumstances.

It's impossible to recollect why you were ever stressed or worried about anything. It all seems so far away from whatever was happening or wherever you were previously doing.

We don't do enough of this, nearly enough of this but then it's impossible to spend as much time as you want, doing the things you want to do largely.

We accept this somehow; it's the twisted mantra of the modern world we live in.

Buy a house you couldn't afford without a big loan and leave it empty all day as you work 8 hours a day for people you'll never even meet.

There's no logic to any of what we do but, for a dinner time dip into unconsciousness there doesn't have to be.

We just need to breathe slowly, feel the warmth on our faces and the orange light on the insides of our eyelids. That is all we need to do for those blissful few hours, it's somehow all we've ever needed to do.

Take care
Speak soon
Ben

Wednesday, 20 May 2015

Missing

"The whole is greater than the sum of its parts."
 Aristotle

In any other situation I'd probably agree, but to the same token it's the absence of those intricate pieces, the pieces which made that huge puzzle take shape, that I'm struggling with at the moment. 

In my head I know I made the most of it, I'm pretty sure that's the one thing that is constant in all of this.

It's hard to quantify real friendship.

As ridiculous as it sounds, I guess you just sort of know by exactly what you feel. I think that's the hardest bit of this whole spot in a lot of respects. It's only in severe withdrawal do you realise how much you came to rely on those contributions.

It doesn't even matter what they were, it's who they were made by that made them stick in my head like glitter on glue. The memories still keep me smiling but they become simply that with each day that passes. We all become different people slowly but the hope of another sunset is what makes us continue to move forward.

I just wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten about you, about any of you and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wonder what you're doing or when will be the next time that our paths will cross.

They will do, I'm sure of it.

Speak soon
Take care
Ben

Wednesday, 22 April 2015

Chasing Safety


We're always chasing safety.

Anything that's man-made or natural represents a threat to the harmony that we've surrounded ourselves with.

We run from change because the effects of it will never truly be measured.

The thought of being safe, when all around us presents real or perceived danger fills our hearts with a warm hope.

It's a hope that we can't replicate, irrespective of the situations or circumstances we find ourselves in.

We miss the rain on a Friday after work and retreat to the safety and sanctuary of our homes. That first hot drink seems so much sweeter; the first embrace even harder to let go of.

We're taught to grab opportunities but it's hard to take one step forward into the unknown when the other is wrapped in the bliss we've created.

Take Care
Speak Soon
Ben

Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Cracks in the pavement


Where do people go when there's nothing left to do?

Those people I see wandering around in a dreary labyrinth every day; faces too drawn out to give me a clue as to why or who or what.  I hope I never become one of those people who I see every morning. They wander as if cut adrift from the purpose, it may have never really existed.

I hope there's always something to do.
I hope there's always me and you.
I hope there's always adventures.
I hope there's always the blankets of clouds that seem to stretch forever.
I hope there's always the things that make us feel alive.
I hope there's always sheets of lined paper, cut into squares.
I hope there's always hope.

Speak soon
Take care
Ben

Friday, 27 March 2015

Hysteria


Growing slowly, 
Like the days before,
Sunsets mean opportunities,
Free is never free,
These people we cling to, 
The fast moving tides.
It all means something,
It never means nothing.
Every footnote transcribed, 
In perfect detail,
The same stars, 
Seas of blankets,
Seas of memories.